Childhood Memoirs
by Vibrant Spectrum
Summary: My first Death Note fic. The different tales of how a mass murderer and a world class detective grew up; how each event affected their lives until death.


"_To Force Heaven Mars Shall Have A New Angel."_

Sorry, I couldn't resist putting that phrase up there. Anyone who can tell me where it's from will get something (probably a tribute fic) from me!

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this.

_**Warning: Spoiler for L's real name!!**_

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of its characters or plots in any form whatsoever.

**Childhood Memoirs **

When L was first born, his mother held him in her arms and looked at the raw bundle with slight disgust and pity. What on Earth would she do with a _baby_? There was no way she could support them both, especially when the father walked out on her when she told him she was pregnant.

Then, she decided. She would keep the baby for as long as she could, for although she could not afford to look after him, she still loved him dearly. "And I will name my baby boy… L. L Lawliet. 'L' after my first love's middle name, and 'Lawliet' - a unique name for a unique boy."

A few years down the road, another boy was born, whose destiny was intertwined with 'L'. His father watched his son wave his fist from the cradle in the nursery of the hospital and spoke with his wife, who was in a wheelchair beside him.

"I have decided what to name our son." Souchirou said, with pride in his voice. "He shall be named 'Light', using the character for 'moon'. That way, when people see his name, they will think of the moon, which shines brightly in the dark and shows people the right path home so that they will not get lost in the dark."

His wife agreed, and they held hands as they watched the child in his cradle together.

When L was one, he had already managed to learn to speak in complete sentences in English. His mother though, who had three jobs and was working overtime, rarely paid any attention to him, and would sometimes neglect him. She would forget to change his diapers, bathe him, and even forget to feed him once in a while. Whenever these things happened, L would have to do it himself, learning how to become resourceful and independent.

Of course, his mother never meant him any harm. She had no choice, seeing that she was juggling several jobs, and was also looking for someone to help support her little family. L, however, could not see it that way, but the only thing he could do about it was to curl up into a little ball in his cot and cry, wondering whether there was anything about himself that would make his mother avoid him so.

Light, on the other hand, began was able to speak perfect Japanese by the time he was one-and-a-half, due to much encouragement and coaching from his parents. They rewarded him by taking him out to a theme park for a whole day, and were treated to his pure, joyous laughter, when he was truly happy.

When he went to bed that night, snuggled between his parents, he had smiled contentedly, glad that he was living with such nice people he was supposed to call his 'parents'. At that point in time, Light was what some would call the sweetest little boy in the world, and probably one of the happiest.

L had reached the tender age of three, during which the mind is the most malleable. He now lived in an apartment with his mother, partially paid for by his mother's new boyfriend. During the day, he would read anything he could get his little hands on; encyclopaedias, newspapers, _anything_.

During the night, however, after his mother had tucked him into his bed and left his room, he would stay up and listen to her and her boyfriend next door, hearing and seeing things a three-year-old shouldn't hear and see. Even during the daytime, if the man had been drinking from a big, clear glass bottle, little L would be forced to watch from a corner as her boyfriend hit her, both of them powerless to stop him. This laid the foundation for his lack of trust in others, and taught him that mothers weren't always invincible.

When Light himself turned three, he had a little brother. Light adored him greatly, and always made sure to protect him just like his father had always told him to. One day, when their mother took them to the park, she had Light look after the 2-month-old baby while she ran some errands. Light promised to do so, but he got careless and made a mistake.

He had glanced at the sky for a moment, pondering its colour and what made it so, but when he looked back, his baby brother was gone. The pram had rolled onto the path of an oncoming truck, and all Light could do was stare, mouth agape in a silent scream, as the truck ran over the pram and sped away. When his parents had found out, they were devastated. Light had always felt that they blamed their child's death on him, and vowed never to make another mistake like that again.

L had become five years of age when his mother left him on the streets to die. His spiky head had poked through every door to look for her, but she was nowhere to be found. When he had crouched down on the floor outside a big pair of gates after wandering for hours, a middle-aged man approached him, telling him not to cry. L had hugged him, and refused to let go for fear that he would be abandoned again, so the man introduced himself as Watari, and took him through the big gates.

At Wammy's House, L learnt many things. He learnt how to solve puzzles by observation alone, how to hold evidence the proper way so that it would not be damaged, and how to build barriers around his heart after his mistakenly trusted someone who had lied to him in the end. L believed, after that day, that if he ever let anyone else into his heart again, they would simply use anything they found there as weapons against him. So the young boy locked up his heart and gave the only key to Watari, who he trusted with his life.

As Light turned eight, he became curious about everything. Once, when he saw his father's gun lying on the table, he picked it up and asked his father what it was. His father had taken it apart and put it back together for him, explaining how each part functioned.

Then, his father told him that a gun had two uses, depending on who was holding it. Firstly, the gun could be wielded as a weapon of destruction, taking the lives of innocent humans who did not do anything to deserve their death. Secondly, the gun could be used as a means of protecting innocent lives, 'which is what I do for a living, Light.' His son, however, considered what his father had told him. Surely everyone had done something in their lives which deserved judgement, the little boy mused to himself. It was then that he promised to himself that he would follow in his father's footsteps, and help to make the world a better place.

On L's tenth birthday, he prodded his cake cautiously. It was the first time he had eaten anything sweet as this was the first year he had told anyone his birthday. As he pushed the first piece into his mouth and down his throat, he experienced a new euphoria. His mind seemed to work five times faster, and he looked at things in a new light. L knew that this was the key to surpass all his competitors, and maybe even P himself.

After that day, L would refuse to eat anything but sweets, so strong was his desire to be at the top. He also believed that if he crouched instead of sitting normally, he would concentrate better, as whispered to him by someone else he had chosen to trust. In the space of one week, he had made it a habit to crouch, eat only sweets, and hold things with only his finger and his thumb so that he would not leave any prints on it or damage it.

Light matured into a handsome twelve-year-old boy, and graduated at the top of his class. This surprised nobody, as he had always been naturally inquisitive, and it was a well-known fact that his parents constantly tutored him and pressured him to do his best in everything he did.

It had taken the boy years before his parents had trusted him enough with responsibility again. This time, Light was determined to take his parents' investment in his education and repay them with results, because he was so desperate to be trusted again; to be cared for, loved and trusted by his parents.

As L progressed in life to become a lanky, crouching thirteen-year-old, he found out that his ex-friend, the one who had told him that crouching would enhance his thinking, had lied to him. However, L, trusting him, had already made crouching into an unbreakable habit. He had also convinced himself that it really would help, and refused to let go of that notion even though it was a lie. L wept inside and forced his heart close, determined never to open it to anyone but Watari again.

At thirteen, L also had his first crush, being near the pubescent stage. Fourteen-year-old Crystal had long, perfectly straight hair, and emerald green eyes, with an amazing knack for solving complicated puzzles. When L had confessed his feeling to her, the girl had taken his dreams and ground them to dust, telling him that she liked P better, which only fuelled his determination to surpass P, preferably in the near future.

When Light turned fourteen, his father taught him to play chess. Light, being Light, quickly figured out his way around the pieces. When he played his first game, he had lost quite badly, and had sulked for quite a bit until his father asked for a re-match. His father had gone easy on him on the second game, but when he challenged him full-out during the third match, he was surprised that he had lost.

During the second and third matches, Light had managed to pick up foresight and logic, skills which would be further honed in the near future. While he had not realised it at that time, foresight became incredibly useful later on, helping him to predict the moves of his most challenging adversaries later in life, although the trickiest one of them all was L, whose destiny was intimately entwined with his own.

L, aged sixteen, had been told that P would talk with the children of Wammy's House, but the date and time would be a surprise, so it could even be during the middle of the night. Rumour around the dormitories was that the contact was for P to select his successor, even though nobody knew why P needed a successor in the first place.

Everyone wanted to be chosen, but L was the most determined of the lot. He had mentally trained himself to stay awake and alert at all hours of the day, so that he would be prepared to analyse P, or answer any questions that were thrown his way. Of course, it had cost him his looks. L became severely underweight, had bags under his eyes all the time, and lost the healthy human glow, becoming as pale as Death itself. He also came up with all kinds of tactics to stay awake, like gorging on sweets to keep his mind active, prodding his room mates in their sleep to see if they would say anything interesting, or inventing devices using objects which had been left lying around the building. When the call finally came though the computer, L was the only one standing.

Light grew into a tall fifteen year old. After his birthday party, he had slipped into his room to be alone for a while. Light had received some interesting gifts from friends and family, which he wanted to search for hidden meanings or messages.

As he stepped onto the balcony for some fresh air, Light heard a scream. Being naturally inquisitive, he scanned the alley below for the source. A girl was being mugged by a man with a knife. As Light watched, the girl somehow managed to wrestle the knife from the man, stab him, and run away. Light shook his head but made no attempt to call an ambulance. After all, the man had tried to rob her and deserved to die. Anyone who committed any crime as heinous as that did not was not worthy to live.

Nineteen-year-old L was the one of the youngest successors amongst those before him who had been selected. When he had first met P for training (a very rare occurrence), L had been surprised to find that P was in his mid-forties, and that Watari did not seem to trust him at all. Before L first met P, Watari had pushed a mask into L's hands and told him to put it on, so that he would not show his face to him.

The old man had warned L to never show his face to anyone he did not trust, and while L had not understood it at that time, he had learned to appreciate the advice in the future. This strengthened his respect and trust in the old man, and their bond became stronger than ever.

At sixteen, Light was always the smartest person in any room he happened to be in, and usually the most moral of the lot. At least, that was what Light saw when he looked in a mirror. He was right most of the time.

Some days though, when Light took time to glance at a reflective surface, he did not notice the arrogant smirk of success, nor did he see the reflection as it smiled when a pickpocket got run over by a car before his very eyes.

By the time L was twenty-four (before the Kira case had emerged), he had helped to solve an uncountable number of crimes using his aliases. Everyone had forgotten about P, who seemed so insignificant beside L's accomplishments. On some days, it seemed like P never even existed to begin with.

On the other hand, L knew exactly where P was. After their second day of training together, during which a mutual dislike had been established, he had shadowed P home, and convinced Watari to help him. When L was feeling down, he would cheer himself up by grabbing the nearest bag of sweets, crouching before a screen, and watching his predecessor grope around in the dark (of which P was terribly afraid of). After several minutes of this, L would always feel better.

Light was seventeen and felt almost fearless. Of course, this was before he picked up the Death Note. He had believed that the world would change for the better after a while, and that no necessary action had to be taken. Then, a few months before he had found the Death Note, Light had the dream.

He dreamt that the world went into further decline, until humans became barbarians. After they had crossed that point, he knew that there was no going back, that no one would have the willpower or strength to rescue humanity, and was depressed. When he awoke, pale and shaking, he realised that something had to be done before this happened. Light considered himself and realised that he had the right characteristics to carry out his new mission. The only thing he needed was a tool to help him achieve his task.

Light then took a look at life and its simple pleasures and decided to squelch that thought. After all, it was just a dream, and Light knew that he himself was probably unfit to judge others… Wasn't he?

…………………………………………………

Well, there you have it! My first Death Note fic! I hope you liked it, and shall not pressure you to review, although it will most certainly be appreciated by this author.


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